Why do some people believe that because they don't do anything inherently wrong, it makes them a good person, and are genuinely angry when you call them on shit? I am aware you haven't killed anyone, you haven't done drugs and aren't an alcoholic. You usually pay your bills on time (usually) and are often funny and charming. You have yet to actually try and sleep with my girlfriend/boyfriend, but you do flirt with everyone.(Dude, you ARE the shit....) This doesn't, however, stop you from being a douchbag. This means you are surpassing the level of jerk but not quite reaching the status of mother-fucker.
You are, as a rule, late for anything and everything. Yes, it's only 5 minutes here and there, sometimes 10-15, but you are almost never on time or early. For anything. EVER! You assume that all requests for my time, energy, and money will be met with a Yes, of course and don true, full force, douch mode when the answer is Sorry, can't this time. You forget everytime you have let me down, failed to follow through on promises or just plain "forgot" about the agreement we made. You also forget all the times I said yes, even though I was not oblidged, expected under normal friend or colleague conventions, or even inclined to provide the asked for "favor". You cop attitude with any form of expectation I may have of you and try to convince others that I am the bad guy.
God forbid you actually do what is expected of you under normal circumstances, someone should give you a fucking purple heart! At the least, doing someting ONE time gives you the excuse never do it again and harp about the ONE time you actually did it. Nothing is ever your fault, there is an excuse for EVERYTHING. Ultimately I should just be glad you aren't on drugs, addicted to alcohol or actively breaking the law (per-say, since "rules" that you don't like are "bullshit" and hence, can be circumvented, manipulated and outright ignored).
You are confrontational and often drag me down to your level of douchebaggery when I try to explain my reasons for not letting you "borrow" 10 bucks, again, when you haven't paid me back for the last time I loaned you money. This is actually my fault, as I should know better than to think I can reason with a douchebag. You straight refuse to acknoledge that YOU fucked up or that YOU need to pay back the favors, cash, respect or forgiveness you have received already. And I, for some reason, keep thinking our interactions and your behavior will change. I don't know how or why I continue to argue, reason or fight with you about this shit. The first step is admitting you are a douchebag, and you will continue to believe you have the right to my hard earned cash, my limited time and my total respect.
You, my friend, are a douchebag.
Waldo at an anonymous location during prayer.
